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» One Touch Football - Archive » Music » Teeth, hair & money

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Author Topic: Teeth, hair & money
G-Man
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VH1 showed a concert by The Osmonds, recorded by Germany's Beat Club in the early 70s.

I was fascinated. I knew very little by the Osmonds ("Love Me For a Reason" and Donny's solo stuff, basically). They were proper glam rock and, in parts, pretty funky motherfuckers. There was talent there, and I had a sense that this bunch of toothy Mormons actually knew what they were doling musically.

I wouldn't buy (or download) an Osmonds album; they weren't that good. But, hell, I have discovered some respect for them. Even for Donny (whose recent single samples George Benson's "Breezin'" and is quite good).

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Pietro Paolo Virdis
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Are you sober, G-Man?
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G-Man
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Very much so. And deadly serious. And yet, had someone on Friday posted what I wrote here, I might have asked the very same question.
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GIK
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Oddly, for someone who despises 'glam' in every way imaginable, I do own a copy of 'Crazy Horses' which is still one of the most WHAT THE FUCK! singles of all time. Magnified by about 17 when you realise it's the Osmonds.
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ad hoc
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I'm prepared to bet that at least one music journalist will shortly be on this thread to opine something along the lines of "Hell, yeah, the Osmonds rock, and anyone who doesn't agree quite clearly knows nothing about rock and roll"
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Spearmint Rhino
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Hell, yeah, the...

Nope, I can't do it. (I do love "Crazy Horses" though.)

[ 31.10.2005, 14:14: Message edited by: Spearmint Rhino ]

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Pietro Paolo Virdis
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My mother liked them, and liked them a lot. She tried to make me listen to the evil bastards. That and Kenny Rogers, mom? How will I ever be able to forgive you?

Trust me. You better stay damn well clear of anything labelled Osmonds. They’re not human, fascist rat eating aliens sent down to fu** with our minds for sure. See what they’re doing with G-Man?

Yes, remember where you read it first. One day Donny will go live on CNN, take a firm grip of his skin somewhere in the Addams apple region and the whole bloody mask will come of in one move.

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Christ! I remember Flash Gordon saved the planet from one of these in an episode.

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They're not going out of their way to hide what they're up to, are they?

Please, someone, save G-Man from this horrid spell.

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Spock na Escada
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I do love "Crazy Horses" though.

Alex Harvey did improve on it somewhat.

G-Man. Try down loading some of Little Jimmy's output. That'll learn you.

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G-Man
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Whoa, hold on a second. Little Jimmy is indefensible, ditto Marie, ditto Donny's solo ouevre. But, I had to admit upon seeing The Osmonds live (on telly) that their musicianship and repertoire was far superior to the notions I had prejudicially maintained. Simply put, they were quite good.
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Gus Tomato
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Polyester-slacks, Alan Partridge style Xmas jumpers, god-bothering polygamists.

As Samuel L. would say, 'that's some repugnant shit'.

Can you really call 'em Glam though?

Compare and contrast with brilliance like the Sweet.

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Spock na Escada
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Are you sure they actually played their own music either live or on record G-Man?
And they weren't remotely Glam any more than their peers, the Partridge family or Jackson 5.

Does anyone else remember the 'Not the Nine O'Clock News' sketch about the Osmonds comeback tour?

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G-Man
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There was loads of ad libbing, medleying and sampling from other songs, so it certainly was live.

And in the concert they wore polyester jumpsuits, if you please. No Partridge Xmas jumpers there, Roy.

Obviously The Osmonds stand no comparison to the Sweet. I own music by the Sweet. I might get "Crazy Horses", but I wouldn't wish to own an Osmonds album.

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Gus Tomato
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And in the concert they wore polyester jumpsuits, if you please. No Partridge Xmas jumpers there, Roy.

Heh.
Probably enough static to power the lighting rig.

Never nind the fact that Donny and his sister sang a love duet at each other, they were definitely a bit creepy.Maybe I had mormonophobia.
The rest of the band were pretty hideous with not-so-perfect teeth sticking out at all angles, and wee Jimmy was a greasy lardball with a WWII German helmet head.

Apart from that, they were magic.

I remember being far more impressed with the Quo.

<coat>

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