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» One Touch Football - Archive » World » Post-Coital Remarks (Page 5)

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Author Topic: Post-Coital Remarks
The_Liquidator
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Big lol-age.
Posts: 6801 | From: The city to the sticks | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
How's The Bairn?
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I once heard "mmm! There's protein in it, you know" as a post-coital remark.
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JtS
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The old "steak up the snatch" manouvre... one of my favourites
Posts: 7076 | From: The North London | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Alderman Barnes
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"One-nil!"
Posts: 4862 | From: the home of the Herzmeister | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bill Poster
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"I'm not on the pill you know"

Lesson learnt for the future.

Posts: 1605 | From: Here to Eternity | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Taylor
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Well the real problem is that different (kinds of) women like different things, which is so obvious as to almost go without saying, but is easily forgotten.

If the very best grimacing, hard-slappin' stud swapped women with the very best crooning, magic-fingered lurve-maker, I'm sure we'd see some awkward faces over breakfast. This is what makes casual sex so difficult (in fact, what makes casual sex so difficult is getting some, but assuming you do, this is what then makes it stay difficult). You do learn to pick up signals over the years, but ultimately women are full of surprises, and unless you actually discuss what kinds of sex you like before the fact (which is sometimes a natural and appropriate conversation, often not), you're in the dark. Also, women have become very used to demanding telepathy in men, and will settle for little else - if a woman likes to have her head held in a toilet bowl while you piss on her (uncommon), and you don't just do that on spec, she will go away thinking that you're just not aggressive or dominant enough; similarly, if you so much as take a fistful of the wrong girl's hair, you can kill the mood, ruin the night, and get a reputation as the wrong kind of aggro bastard. And if you doggedly plough a middle ground, you just miss out on crazy times with the wild ones and sensual nerve-tingling nights with the softer type.

"Some women wait for Jesus and some women wait for Cain / so I climb upon my altar and I hoist my axe again."

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JtS
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I use a pre-sex questionnaire
Posts: 7076 | From: The North London | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Caliban3
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"Wipe me dry"
Posts: 2813 | From: The Tempest | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Wolf 2
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Is it multiple choice Bo? I'd love to know some of the questions and answers.
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Croute au fromage et oeuf au plat
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"You messy bugger"

"You are a sex god"

"God I'm knackered now"

"It happens"

Two of these I hear regularly, the two others rarely...

Posts: 16714 | From: Outskirts of Manchester | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
G-Man
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quote:
See, how I know there's no God is that as you get better at sex, you get less attractive. How fucked up is that?
Well, Wictred, I know there is a God because I am getting even better at sex and people say that my looks are getting even better as I grow older (hair loss notwithstanding). See, that Catholicism lark clearly works for me.
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Femme Folle
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People say a lot of things to be nice.
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Stumpy Pepys
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"Sorry, but your fingers smell of fish."
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Pietro Paolo Virdis
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This thread is brilliant!

B t w, Stumpy, do you know what god said when he first saw Eve take a bath down the creek?

Posts: 19677 | From: San Siro | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pietro Paolo Virdis
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"Oh my god, I've never had one of those before"
Me: What?
"multiple orgasms"

Where do I pick up my OTF medal?

The worst I’ve heard… I must say it’s not post but during, and by my father. Way back, while still living with my folks, I had brought home this beauty from Slovenia and though we were home alone. Door wide open, in the midst of the horizontal folk-dancing, my father passes the room.

You know how they say that when two trains pass doing close to maximum speed, one from each direction, you can still get the feeling of the two trains standing still and get a perfect look at the other side? I believe this was used by Alfred Hitchcock in one of his films. Anyway, my father passed by in lightningspeed but it still felt like an eternity. The look on his face is something I’ll never forget. If you ever need an image to accompany “oops” in the dictionary to describe it properly, that would be the perfect one.

Posts: 19677 | From: San Siro | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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