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» One Touch Football - Archive » Football » April 9 (Page 1)

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Author Topic: April 9
G-Man
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So, is Josť going to have that big celebration next week?
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Duncan Gardner v8.2
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Chelsea 79/32, ManU 72/32.

Here's how it may develop...

9 April

Chelsea 1-1 West Ham (feisty derby, deserved point for the Irons)
ManU 1-0 Arsenal (Nistelrooy nicks it against tired Gunners

Chelsea 80/33, ManU 75/33

14/15 April

ManU 3-1 Sunderland (routine win at half pace before defence go to sleep for consolation)
Bolton 2-1 Chelsea (Southern pansies falling all over the shop, but this time they really have been kicked)

Chelsea 80/34, ManU 78/34

17 April

Chelsea 2-0 Everton (Jose relaxes as Drog and Krispy see off the Scousers)
Tottenham 1-1 ManU (Alex still up for it but the Spurs playboy forwards are equal to the visitors' walkabout defence...)

Chelsea 83/35, ManU 79/35

22 April

ManU 1-0 Middlesbrough (slightly iffy penalty as the challengers limp home)

Chelsea 83/35, ManU 82/36

29 April

Chelsea 0-1 ManU (Oh dear, but you all know the old cliche about this fixture as away banker. John O'Shea gets the winner after pirouetting away from Lampard just outside the D)

ManU 85/37, Chelsea 83/36

2 May

Blackburn 1-1 Chelsea (the patron saint of chavs, Craig Bellendy toepokes Rovers' equaliser after Drogba is harshly sent off for tripping over Gobby Cabbage's shoelace. Sympathetic Lancastrians cheer him back to the dressing room)

ManU 85/37, Chelsea 84/37

7 May

ManU 0-1 Charlton
Newcastle 1-1 Chelsea

Chelsea are the 2006 Premierbore champions!

Monster Twat Carvalho picks up Shay Given, ball and all, and piggy-backs him over the goal-line, after the Creosote Kid had punched in from a corner.

At the Threatre, Darren Bent nicks a breakaway winner in the 14th minute of injury time.

CHELSEA 38-85 (+41)
Manchester United 38-85 (+38)

[ 02.04.2006, 13:00: Message edited by: Rusty Cervantes ]

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and I am the life
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Of course there is one team in particular and one player above all others that is responsible for the gap being 7 points and not two.

If chelsea wind up winning the league by 5 points or less the only person that anyone can blame is this gimp here.

 -

22 october, spurs are trailing to a 6th minute mikael silvestre goal against a severly weakened man utd, and showing absolutely no sign of scoring, then up steps the gimp and belying his almost total lack of talent curls home a freekick completely out of the blue.

Chelsea inch a further two points ahead.

zoom fast forward in time to the 11th of march. The gimp has taken advantage of some terrible chelsea defending at a set piece to equalize for tottenham with perhaps his first touch of the game.

on about the hour mark some tottenham player forces away through the mediocrity and bends a ball over the top of gallas into the path of the onrushing gimp. The ball is so perfect that it lands square on the gimps chest and falls perfectly in front of him, he's bearing down on Cech, and spurs are about to go ahead of Chelsea for the first time since the first world war.

The gimp passes the ball to Cech.

Then in the third minute of injury time the rest of the spurs team decide that jenas looks silly in all that plastic leather by himself and they all put on the gimp suits and let gallas score in the third fucking minute of injury time.

Think about that now you spurs fans

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Auntie Beryl
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Were you bullied at school by a Spurs fan, aiatl?
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and I am the life
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There are no spurs fans, not In Ireland anyway.

[ 02.04.2006, 13:16: Message edited by: and I am the life ]

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fritz in a fez
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If that picture you've posted doesn't end these JJ is gay rumours nothing will.
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TV's 'Mr P'
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AIATL's first must rank as one of the saddest posts I've ever read.
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Auntie Beryl
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It's got some competition.
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The_Liquidator
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Agreed.
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and I am the life
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AIATL's first must rank as one of the saddest posts I've ever read.

It's only sad because you look into your own hearts and know that you and your team bear the guilt for Chelsea's massive lead.

You feel the sadness of Yves Montand in Manon des sources.

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Duncan Gardner
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As usual, the Mad Mexican is talking complete cojones. Ireland is full of Spurszzz fans of all ages.

I especially liked this photo of Gary Mabbutt embracing a young Roy Keane.

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and I am the life
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no it fucking isn't. I've only met three in my entire life and one of those is forty. I know more Villa fans for christs sake.
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fritz in a fez
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you should get out more.
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and I am the life
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I met as many spurs fans in the pub before Stay beautiful last month as I have in Ireland. There are very very few spurs fans in Ireland.
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Impact Substitute
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Is that supposed to be an insult AIATL? The fact that there aren't many Spurs fans in Ireland. I was the only one in my class at school and was quite proud of it. Is this a worthwhile reason to slag Spurs or are you scraping the barrell in your search for reasons to have a pop? Christ, it's not as though you, or anyone else, are short of material when it comes to the topic of slagging Spurs.

Spurs have not yet reach the levels required for other supporters to start using the most ridiculous things as sticks to beat them with.

In the October game, Spurs fully deserved to level the game. Having got in at half-time fortunate to be just a goal down, Spurs were the better side in the second half. Cristiano Ronaldo's stoppage time header was about all United had to show in the second half.

Jenas' miss at Chelsea still rankles though.

[ 03.04.2006, 01:13: Message edited by: Liberal Al ]

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