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Author Topic: Danny Dyer The Real Football factory world tour
rick derris
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Anybody else catch this on bravo last night. I have to be honest and say i thought it was very good.

It was all about Turkey, he met both sets of ultras before the gala V Fernabache derby. The ferna boys seemed to have their mums with them mind.

Also that ferna nutter, who pissed off with sounesses antics hid in an advertising board at the ali sami and when gala took to the pitch in the opening game, came out armed with a kebab knife and the ferna flag and planted the flag on the half way line protecting it with his knife.

Undercover at the ferna gala game made Cardiff Swansea look like Chelsea v Fulham. “a right naughty bunch, I’m way out of my manor here”

[ 22.05.2007, 16:01: Message edited by: rick derris ]

Posts: 4512 | From: bat country | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Harry Carpenter
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What word was he touring? Twat?
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The_Liquidator
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Grease was the word.

Sorry.

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Tubby Isaacs
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I'm one of the few people who think Dyer is pretty good. Of course, he plays certain types (Cockney yobs) but lots of actors do that with Westerns etc. He's in some dreadful flims but it's not his fault all the films of the right genre are dreadful. When I said I hoped he got some better work this wasn't quite what I had in mind, but still.
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The_Liquidator
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He was good in Severance, it must be said. But other than that, he's not been much more than Nick Love's own personal cockney gimp.
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Malcolm X
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"Your firm is a bit small, but it's a right naughty firm innit"
What he said to the Burnley fans which nearly got him lynched as the initially did not realise that he was giving a compliment.

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Croute au fromage et oeuf au plat
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I also caught that by accident last night, the look on his face when he was with the Fener lot at the ground was priceless...
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The_Liquidator
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NAWTEE.
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Malcolm X
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Did anyone see the David Baddiel show on saturday night on Bravo when he was pining for the 70's and 80's football.

The funniest bit was the segment with the magic sponge.

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E10Rifle
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Did anyone read the Q&A with him in the Guardian Guide on Saturday? I couldn't work out whether it was a self-mocking piss-take, but it was full of the most ridiculously exaggerated drivel - "I was a right fucking nawty bastard me, too full of drugs and booze to know what I was doing... CAN I MENTION THIS AGAIN? I'VE TAKEN DRUGS. LOTS OF 'EM. IT WAS FUCKING MENTAL... etc"

Prick. It brought me in mind of Liquidator's infinitely more entertaing pastiches of hoolie talk on here

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PR7th Heaven
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Jesus, Danny Dyer

He was interviewed in the Independent about a month ago. They do a twenty questions piece, and one of the questions is "What do you wish people took more notice of?"

You get the predictable answers - saving energy, live theatre, locally sourced food and so on.

Danny Dyer, however, suggested that people should make more of a fuss about paedophiles.

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The_Liquidator
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I've been looking for this for ages and some angel on 40% posted it up. An absolute must read and everything I base my pastiches on. read on

quote:
Book News

Ceri Rhys Jones reviews a new book about hooligan violence

Whilst most supporters know about the hooligan violence that blighted football in the 70's and 80's, few people will be aware of the clashes that took place between rival children's TV gangs.

This week sees the publication of Congratulations…you've just met the RJF, the long awaited biography from children's TV favourites, Rod, Jane and Freddy.

This explosive book brings readers face to face with the relentless violence of 80's kiddies TV.

Sports Offensive reprints these exclusive extracts.

Beginnings

Rod: In 1979 there were a lot of really useful firms operating out of ITV and "The Rainbow Boys" were one of the best in the business. The problem was, because we were new, we were always on the outside looking in. It was time to make a bit of a noise and show them we could handle ourselves.

Freddy: We decided we were going to take Play School in their home pub, Chatters wine bar in Hampstead. On the face of it, it was a fucking ridiculous thing to do. They were pretty handy and had a big reputation, but that didn't mean nothing to us. We were ready to make our mark and didn't care how we did it.

Jane: We got there early and just kept a low profile. Pretty soon the whole place was filling up. There were quite a few faces in there: Fred Harris, Derek Griffiths, Big Ted. I can't say it bothered me. All I was thinking was, "You're going to get it, you numpties!"

Rod: I think it was Johnny Ball who clocked us. I can remember him saying something like "I can think of a number: the three wankers stood over there" and it all kicked off. Even though they hit us with everything they had, we took it. All I can remember is Freddy screaming, "Hold the line, just hold the fucking line" and we did.

Jane: I didn't think they could believe that three of us had taken about forty of them at their place. They just melted away, flicking the V's at us and looking like a total set of pussies. I saw Hamble with blood pissing from an open head wound. To be honest I was too wound up to care.

Rod: We walked away from there with our heads held high. The Rainbow Boys would have to take notice now. Rod, Jane and Freddy had well and truly arrived.
The Battle of Blue Peter

Rod: There's been a whole heap of bullshit spoken about who vandalised the Blue Peter Garden. The truth is that place got torn up in one of the maddest, bloodiest children's television rucks I can ever remember.

Jane: Blue Peter were always giving it some about how they were the best in the business. We were happy to let them think that. Our feeling was they'd got sloppy and hadn't fought anyone decent for about five years. Their shows always went out live, so the plan was to wait until the end of the live broadcast and pile in. The trouble was it didn't work out like that.

Freddy: We'd gone over the wall and started heading towards them. It was Simon Groom and Janet Ellis and we could tell we'd taken them by surprise. Rod wades in and bang, bang, bang they both go down like a sack of shit. It was all a bit too easy and we couldn't work out why the camera crew were holding back. Then we realised, they'd been having some sort of past presenter's reunion. They all came pouring out of the studios: Noakes, Purves, Singleton; all ready to kick seven shades of shit out of us.

Jane: As far as we were concerned there was only one thing to do. Stand our ground. Other firms would have run but we just thought, fuck it, this far and no further. It wasn't easy mind. They were tooled up with bottle tops from a bring and buy sale. Peter Duncan was just wading into us with a bicycle chain shouting, "Take that you cunts!" I honestly didn't think we'd last much longer.

Rod: Then we heard it. The best sound in the world; "Up above the streets and houses, Rainbow climbing high!" It was The Rainbow Boys battle cry…the cavalry was coming. Zippy dropped the nut on Biddy Baxter and suddenly things were a bit more even. I swear on my mothers grave if security hadn't stepped in we'd have murdered the bastards.

Freddy: The garden was totally fucked. They covered it up and said it was the work of vandals. No it wasn't, it was the scene of our finest hour.

Congratulations…You've Just Met The RJF is published by Hodder and Staunton and retails at £7.99


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Don Malhumorado
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I remember reading that in RedIssue. I shit my lips.
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The_Liquidator
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There's a brilliant running series on the Everton board on rivals called Orpington Yoof. After every England game some genius writes a similar thing about the bovver out there. The one after the Andorra game was fantastic.
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Don Malhumorado
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'Angry Bear' used to write one about the fights he had with 'Shark With Arms' crew on UWS. It was great.
Posts: 14591 | From: Paper Street | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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