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Author Topic: The new England captain
Big Dave's Gusset
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Personally, I'm most excited about what a certain match report will make of this unexpected turn of events.

Seppings: merked.

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Spearmint Rhino
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I'm trying to think of any England regulars who I wouldn't have placed ahead of Ferdinand.

Wayne Rooney, perhaps.

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Don Malhumorado
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Ferdinand has been made 6/4 favourite to be made permanent captain by, I think, Ladbrokes.
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tratorello
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The biggest gormless twunt of them all has been picked to lead the rest of the gormless twunts, makes perfect sense to me.
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garcia en dolor
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i don't think it's a bad idea at all.

gerrard is a terrible captain - weak, egotistical and stupid. see his failure to exert any influence last sunday at old trafford. all he did was shout at mascherano after he'd been sent off. he gets away with it at liverpool because the fans love him, but a lot of england fans are justifiably sceptical about a player who usually fails when he plays for their team.

terry's evident physical decline means he doesn't have a long term future with england, and i believe he is actually less intelligent than rio ferdinand.

rooney is too immature and aggressive. gary neville and david james are too old. ashley cole is too much of a cunt. hargreaves is german. beckham renounced the captaincy in 2006. nobody else is established enough. so rio is the obvious choice.

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Muzz Lightyear
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Gareth Barry could do it
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Gus Tomato
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hargreaves is german.

Hahahahahaha.

Brilliant!

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Rogin the Armchair fan
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I'm not sure that handing the captaincy to Rio is a great idea at all. There's a lot of extra responsibility that comes with being captain. You've got the additional photoshoots with the ballboys and mascots before the game, to start with, and then you've got to remember to carry out the national pennant and some flowers before the game. Then, after the game, you've got to be the first to give the official post-match interview alongside the manager, and at the post-match function, you've got to remember to sit at the top table next to the dignitaries from the other lot, and not let any fire extinguishers off for a laugh.

It's a lot of pressure to heap on an international sportsman whose real forte is heading the ball thirty yards away into the crowd and then bellowing "Fucking hell, come on!" at his fellow defenders. The last time Rio was faced with these kind of additional demands he forgot he had to piss in a bottle.

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Cavalry Trouser Tips
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And Rogin steams in with a post of the week contender.
Posts: 4359 | From: Mekonta | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TV's 'Mr P'
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Expect all team mates' jerseys to be hung on each other's pegs while Captain Bladder hides in the showers, stifling a guffaw as he primes his trusty camcorder.
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Croute au fromage et oeuf au plat
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Bare in mind that Capello does not give a rat-arse about who is captain in his team, as far as he is concerned the 11 players do jump when they are told to by him, armband or not.
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Auntie Beryl
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I think this decision is more about who hasn't been chosen (Terry) than who has. With the media confidently predicting that ratboy would be handed the armband, despite his referee-surrounding antics at White Hart Lane last week, Capello has taken the opportunity to fire off a little warning shot.

Ultimately Terry looks likely to end up captain for competitive matches, unless somebody who isn't detested by at least 25% of the population (and can't remember the 70s) starts clocking up regular appearances. King, say.

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G-Man
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Perhaps Capello was impressed by the way Rio and those he led as vice-captain didn't bitch at the referee on Sunday.
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Harry Carpenter
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This may have been mentioned elsewhere but when interviewed yesterday about the captaincy , Ferdinand pointed out that he occasionally led out Man U in Gary Neville's absence but normally "Giggsy took on the mantelpiece".

[ 26.03.2008, 11:03: Message edited by: Harry Carpenter ]

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Spearmint Rhino
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No wonder he's slowed down.
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