Idiots number one and two, sharing today’s bronze and silver medal
Two Swedish astro-physicists have been spending their time studying and dissecting movies and are now criticizing most special effects.
“Take a look at the hair in James Bond film Moonraker. The hair is perfect. In reality it would be pointing in all direction due to the conditions in space”, says Peter Norqvist.
“The Alien poster said that no one can hear you scream in space, but that hasn’t stopped others. You can hear explosions, steel sheet’s being crushed rattle, but in reality there is no sound”
His “favourites” are the James Bond movies, though. ”Goldfinger has a scene where a bunch of soldiers die instantly when being exposed to poison gas. In reality, the gas would spread very slowly”
“In Goldeneye, there’s a scene with a spaceship flying so low, it would have been destroyed in seconds”
”In another, James Bond is speeding down a hill so fast he manages to fly up on another hill which is higher. That’s impossible”
”Cartoons seem to have their own laws of physics. Check out when a character flies straight out into the air and hangs there for a while, and then falls straight down. That just doesn’t happen”, says Patrik Norqvist
NO BLOODY WAY!? You mean to tell me you DON’T hang in the air if you’d be thrown off a cliff? I’m so glad you told me this, ‘cause I’ve always thought that everything in cartoons was for real.
It’s film, moron, you know, fiction? You ain’t exactly a rocket scientist, are you? No way that Sweden will ever put anything in space beyond a circuit board in some Satellite if this is what we have working for us.
Idiot number three, winner of the gold medal
Some bloke studying to be an actor misunderstood an assignment completely because, well, he was to damn stupid to understand it. But does he admit it was wrong? No, he’s defending his actions.
The assignment was children and sexuality. Any normal person’s immediate thought would be to think about how children are exposed to it, what happens to some children in this world, how it affects children, or something like that. What does this moron do? He invites a group of kids, a whole class in fact, to The Institute of Drama (transl. ?), where he’s taking his classes, has them sit down, and then proceeds to read a pornographic novel to them about two girls and fellatio.
Many of the kids, when they came home, told their parents about the “gross and stupid fairy-tale”.
He was charged with sexual molestation and found guilty as the court considered the story pornography for adults and objectionable to be read to a bunch of six year old kids. The court concluded that he must have been aware of this since he had authored the story himself.
His moron lawyer responded that he is both surprised and disappointed, as is his client, and they are considering an appeal since there’s grounds for one.
Welcome to Tellus, you village idiot from the planet of Stupidea. We hope you'll be packing and going back soon.
Posts: 19677 | From: San Siro | Registered: Nov 2003
| IP: Logged |