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» One Touch Football - Archive » World » Post-Coital Remarks (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Post-Coital Remarks
Don Malhumorado
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They usually say nothing. You're not mean to talk with your mouth full, are you?
Posts: 14591 | From: Paper Street | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JtS
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So, the first time we decide to take the relationship further, we've had friends over, another couple (our first proper night entertaining as a couple) it's gone really well and we retire to bed.

You started you sex life with a bit of swinging?

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Wyatt Earp
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quote:
The girl I was with had earlier started whistling during the sex.
I must admit, I'm hugely relieved by this. I thought it was just me that had happened to.

I did once cop an "Oh my God, it's always so good with you," though, which kind of makes up for it. Not from the same girl, though. And uncomfortably long ago...

Posts: 19927 | From: the Cryptic Cabal | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eggchaser
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Clatty Pat's sounds like a euphemism for some venereal disease.
Posts: 6505 | From: the passenger seat of Mr Toad's car, driving-by this thread | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Culchie Halfwit Alert
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It sounds like a batter pudding full of cherries.

Actually, so does that.

Posts: 401 | From: Beyond the 38th Parallel | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Joe Public
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"Those boiled eggs should be ready now"
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Culchie Halfwit Alert
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Hard or soft?
Posts: 401 | From: Beyond the 38th Parallel | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The_Liquidator
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Soft or hard boiled?

Arse, beaten to it.

[ 02.12.2005, 11:31: Message edited by: Your Wives ]

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Culchie Halfwit Alert
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Sorry, Chelsea.

In the lurve stakes, too often scrambled- or even poached- for me alas.

You, and Nocturnal Submission and others, will be glad to know our wirk canteen has a poster of Chopper Harris sitting on his backside, just bamboozled there by another George Best goal. Reminded me of this supposed nightclub exchange, possibly after the same game:

Harris: George, you got me sent off today, you cunt. You're a cheat and you can't play!

Best: Aye, maybe, but I've fucked the last three Miss Worlds...

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Lucy Waterman It Be
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"While you've been thumping away doing that, I've managed to fit my favourite boots on my arms, all the way up to the elbow. Look!".
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boris
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The worst is probably along the lines of "Never mind, dear, these things happen".

The best would have been something like a few minutes of heavy breathing, followed by "mmmm, let's do that again."

Alas, I've heard neither for quite some time.

Posts: 8617 | From: the safe house | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The cantering captain
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"Do you smoke after sex?"

And yes I obliged with the "don't know I've never looked" reply. It were great.

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what's his name, the number 10....
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"How does that help my singing?"
Posts: 4145 | From: acts of manual sexual altruism | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Malcolm X
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1. I think the worst was when a lady i was persueing for a while finally let me show my stuff. I had been bigging up myself as some kind of stamina daddy and when i concluded after about 10 strokes, she just rolled over and kissed her teeth slowly and loudly and muttered the words, "cha".

I quickly and meekly left the room.

2. "Have you come already?"

3. "You've messed up my hair." Black women are not fans of hairpulling...... unfortunately..

4. "Don't fall asleep now"

5. And the classic, "I told you not to come inside me"

6. I used to be a man.

One of these I made up.

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Not me
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At the risk of contributing to any one-upmanship lurking beneath this thread, Eggchaser's broken bed just reminded me of a past mishap.

It ruined the moment of course, but it was quite impressive: the bed collapsed, knocking a set of shelves on the swonk, which in turn knocked a big lamp into a 6ft set of shelves stacked top to bottom with CDs, which fell forward with an almighty crash, incurring the wrath of the ill-tempered, stomp-happy pensioners on the floor above.

Shoddy workmanship, see? This is what happens.[/open goal]

Posts: 4303 | From: The Ministry of the New New Super Heavy Funk | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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