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Author Topic: Puns
Spock na Escada
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So was/is nmtb 'scripted'?
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Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan
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Well, Lamarr would have a script. They make no secret of the fact - NMTB even credits writers, I think, whereas a lot of panel shows list them as "Programme Associates" or something along those lines

[ 10.02.2006, 17:35: Message edited by: Art Vandelay ]

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Spock na Escada
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So you mean all the answers to the questions are written beforehand by someone else and all those 'off the cuff' funnies, are actually being read off a little card stuck to the cuff?
Blimey. Who'd have though Robert Robinson was such a good actor.

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Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan
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No, I don't mean that at all.
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ian .64
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Ladies and Gentleman, with the miracle of cut-'n-paste, I present a soupcon of the work of Tim Vine, a man who, I think, got into the Guinness Book of Records for the most puns he could fill in two minutes (or something like that). There may be pun or two in this lot. Not sure. What the heck - enjoy!

"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books."


"And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.'


"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"


"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."


"So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'


I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.'


So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"


"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.'"


"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"


"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"


"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'


"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."


"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'

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TV's 'Mr P'
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Milton Jones is a great example of a stand-up who uses puns in an original way around which to build his act. Whereas Tim Vine isn't, IMO.

So was/is nmtb 'scripted'?

Around five years ago, that was the question most asked in my life. Gags are (obviously) scripted, as is much of the material used by the guests: you can't rely on pop stars to come up with spontaneous humour. To my mind, the best stuff was that which occurred naturally on set. I've not worked on the show in some years, but it seems Lamarr's 'whims' (individual lines/props/sound effects) are now the fulcrum to the show's comedy. Plus he now credits himself as a producer, too. (Well, he did - he's taking off this series, I learn. But NMTB should end now, to be honest...)

(Edit: thanks, G Man. Wish you'd been on the team...)

[ 11.02.2006, 11:50: Message edited by: TV's 'Mr Personality' ]

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ian .64
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First off, you miserable bastard.

Secondly, with the participation of Bill Bailey and Phil Jupitus, a nice, amusing programme is hidden within the dry, flesh-scraping bracken which is the Mark Lamarr Show in all but name. I hate the sneering cruelty which the host perpetuates which sometimes deflects from the fact that sometimes the enterprise is genuinely amusing - and, ironically, Lamarr, when he isn't taking the piss with a flame-thower, can be funny at the odd moment. It still has a shelf life and, if a good performer can be found to replace the Ayers Rock-hairstyled host, it can be appreciably prolonged.

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Don Malhumorado
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He's only leaving for one series. He says he'll be back after that.
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Duncan Gardner
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quote:
Complaint? G-Men it is! (10)
No offence to the sulking Kraut Godbotherer, but I was quite pleased with this one. Of course it's

MEN/[IN]/G/IT/IS

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TV's 'Mr P'
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First off, you miserable bastard.

Pourquoi? The Tim Vine comment? Yeah, sorry if that came over snottily - he's actually very good at what he does (as you illustrate). I just prefer Jones' surreal take on punning.

Viz NMTB: my show 'insiders' suggest to me that Lamarr's hiatus may exceed the one series planned. They plan to front each show with a guest presenter (as TTIAO/HIGNFY tried) - which I really cannot see working in this instance. As ian suggests, it's Lamarr's show. Though I'd be amazed if anyone still cares enough.

(Edit: 6000-up)

[ 11.02.2006, 14:43: Message edited by: TV's 'Mr Personality' ]

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Gas Filled Dolphin Carcass
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I'd suggest that it's becoming harder and harder to tell Lamarr and Chris Evans apart, and they might actually want someone who is less self-regarding and cruel on a show that is just supposed to be light entertainment.
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ian .64
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Nowt personal, TVMP. Your point is taken - on the occasions I've seen or heard Jones I've found him very amusing. Vine's okay, but in a fast-food, enjoy-it-then-it's-gone kind of way.

I have an aversion to Chris Evans whose abrasive smugness is slightly different and more dislikeable to Lamarr's. Evans isn't really a comedian, he's just a gob that can't stop talking, he's a patter merchant with no jokes and high volume. Lamarr, for all his sneering lip, is a comedian, which may confuse people who've seen him on NMTB recently.

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Spock na Escada
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I dare say I'm alone here in finding lamarr quite amusing. On nmtb though I thought he was funnier when he was up against real people rather a pair of fat blokes playing Doberman to his Bilko.
Not that I get to see it more than once a year.

[ 11.02.2006, 16:48: Message edited by: Triandafiligan ]

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ian .64
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I thought he was funny in those first times I saw him. Then he got NMTB and became the finger-pointing, 'haha-look-at-that-weirdo' jerk we all know and dismiss today. That's the trouble - he can be funny (and he does, at times, choose targets that deserve it) but a giant indulgence has set in with the man.
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Spock na Escada
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Yeah, and he'll probably wind up like Phil Silvers too.
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