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» One Touch Football - Archive » World » How Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall makes a cup of tea (Page 7)

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Author Topic: How Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall makes a cup of tea
Eggchaser
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Debenhams? DEBENHAMS?

John Lewis, you horrid little man! Or Waitrose's spiffy Ocado service, if you are clued up this newfangled internet thingy.

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The Horse
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Starbucks have a branch at Guantanamo Bay. So I'm fucked if I'm going in there, whether or not the coffee is shit.
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Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan
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I'd avoid Guantanamo High Street altogether.
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Gangster Octopus
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They have really natty little orange uniforms. Maybe Rangers fans should pop down there...
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Fatbastard, Hugh Fatbastard
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Alright, since you asked, as much water as required to make a full cup and allow the shortest possible time to reach boil is poured into the kettle and the kettle with the water that I just just poured into it is switched on.

I stand there looking at it, making it reach a boil faster with my deadly stare. As soon as steam is seen to emerge from the kettle that I poured the water in and switched on, but before the water reaches a boil, I lift the kettle from it's base and pour the very hot water over the previously prepared mixture of teabag, sugar and milk in a cup.

I then return the kettle to it's base (where it amusingly manages to reach a boil with what few droplets of water remain, and subsequently switch itself off as I scald my forearm while reaching over it to close the cupboard where we keep the sodding tea) and pick the teabag out of the cup gingerly - dropping it once or twice and making a mess of the counter in doing so - with the index finger and thumb of my right hand.

Next I squeeze the juice of the teabag back into the cup that now contains only the tea using my left thumb and a teaspoon held firmly in right hand as you would hold a child to prevent them from dashing across a busy road - securely, but not so as to hurt or injure them.

Now where was I ?

Oh, yeah...give it a stir with the self-same teaspoon and pitch the spoon and the used teabag into the sink, wipe the counter with the arm of a jacket left hanging over the back of chair nearby, and finally hand the cup of tea to the fucking bitch who keeps asking me to 'make her a cup of tea dear' whenever I make the fatal mistake of getting out of my chair during a commercial break.

That's how I make a cup of tea.

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Wyatt Earp
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See, I thought that was an excellent programme. Is it a vegetarian thing, lyrs?
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Bored Of The Dance
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I was wondering that. As someone who is very concerned about animal (and, I assume, fish) welfare, HFW seemed to be doing all the right things

Unless, of course, you are vegetarian in which case, it probably isn't that great.

By the way, lobsters do feel pain according to Radio 4 today

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The Horse
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I guess fish were suffocating out of the water quite a bit.

Cracking show, though. All his programmes are great.

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Bored Of The Dance
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They can't blame us for evolution.
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Reed
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"By the way, lobsters do feel pain according to Radio 4 today"

I'm dubious. It's pretty much impossible to translate an understanding of what we feel as pain onto something with relatively simple nervous system and no cerebral cortex.

Still, it seems likely that boiling them alive is needlessly cruel. If I ever find myself in a situation where I need to boil a lobster, I will first kill them by driving a big knife through their pea-sized brain one second before tossing them into the boiler.

I don't eat much of it. When I lived in Marblehead, I'd occasionally order the lobster roll sandwich if the company was paying for lunch, but I'd never order the whole damn animal like so many people like to do, especially when on vacation in Maine.

It's expensive and I never order anything that I have to take apart at the table.

[ 08.11.2007, 23:53: Message edited by: Reed ]

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Bored Of The Dance
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To be honest, only once have I not been disappointed by lobster.
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Bored Of The Dance
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Who does the above sound like a lyric of? ABC?

The Fall? Bowie? Answer on a postcard to the usual address, I think I need to go to bed

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lyra
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I do understand that if people feel they absolutely 'must' eat meat then they absolutely should take HFW's approach - organic, no intensive farming, 'sustainable' fishing . And in that respect, sure, I'd rather people listen to him than otherwise.

But the thing is that his fundamental approach to all that is still 'sustainable so we can keep eating them' and 'organic because it tastes better'. Animals are still food to him. While I totally appreciate this is needed to keep people's interest (you have to feel rewarded for doing good, not punished for being bad, etc) it is just fundamentally opposed to the ideals I have. And there's still quite a bit of compromise necessitated by this approach.

Also I will proceed to destroy all my credibility now by saying that I find him, personally, to come across just as a bit of a wanker.

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Wyatt Earp
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It's weird about seafood and price: some of your cheaper options, like mussels or Cromer crab or last night's gurnard, are right up there, flavour-wise, with your scallops and lobster and seabass.
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Purves Grundy
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quote:
But the thing is that his fundamental approach to all that is still 'sustainable so we can keep eating them'
Partly true.

quote:
and 'organic because it tastes better'.
Mostly untrue (inasmuch as that's not his fundamental approach).

quote:
Also I will proceed to destroy all my credibility now by saying that I find him, personally, to come across just as a bit of a wanker.
Based on personal dealings with him I can confirm that this is 100% untrue.
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