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Author Topic: Anthony Bourdain on the Food Network
Inca
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If you like Anthony Bourdain, and are familiar with the Food Network, you must read this.

quote:
I actually WATCH Food Network now and again, more often than not drawn in by the progressive horrors on screen. I find myself riveted by its awfulness, like watching a multi-car accident in slow motion. Mesmerized at the ascent of the Ready-Made bobblehead personalities, and the not-so-subtle shunting aside of the Old School chefs, I find myself de-constructing the not-terrible shows, imagining behind the scenes struggles and frustrations, and obsessing unhealthily on the Truly Awful ones. Screaming out loud at Sandra Lee in disbelief as she massacres another dish, then sits grinning, her face stretched into a terrifying rictus of faux cheer for the final triumphant presentation.

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G-Man
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My wife has on the BBC Food Network on default. I must confess that I enjoy some of the programmes, but utterly hate most. It'll kill me, I'm sure.

I come close to rage whenever another second-hand cook tastes or smells what they have "created" and applauds him or herself on how gooooood it is. Why doesn;t anyone ever say: "Hmmm, not bad at all, but I think I overdid it wth the pepper. So if you are going to copy the dish I just cook, don't repeat my mistake, easy on the pepper."

The "not-so-subtle shunting aside of the Old School chefs" is an important point. And I blame Jamie Oliver for it, but also that deplorable bastard who used to play for Glasgow Rangers (and, by fuck, doesn't he look it, too), who does that Old School Chef schtick to death.

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Inca
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I'm not familiar with that network--is it affiliated with the American Food Network?

There are some shows I like on there--Alton Brown, Giada de Laurentis, and yes, Iron Chef America. But so many of the hosts now don't focus on cooking--they focus on how to make cooking easier. There's only really one host that talks about eating things that are good for you, and she's a nutrition Nazi, so she makes eating right seem like a monumental task that doesn't seem all that fun.

And the hosts like Sandra Lee...Bourdain is spot on. It's all about making processed food into something else. There isn't any show on there that really talks about finding local ingredients, going to farmers' markets, or anything organic. I don't doubt that this is because it's a commercial network, and a commercial food network is going to have tons of giant processed food corporations as sponsors.

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Lardinho
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I have no idea what the Food Network is, but I hate finding US cook books and all they do is turn processed food into other processed food. You know the thing: How do you make enchiladas? Take some flour tortillas. Cook some meat then add a pot of enchilada sauce.
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Wyatt Earp
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That deplorable bastard seems to me to be pretty sound on food, I must admit, though with my union hat on and with my I-hate-Rangers hat on I obviously think he's a deplorable bastard.
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Lardinho
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The deplorable bastard also runs some fucking great restaurants, and even knows how to make entertaining telly, even if he is a complete bastard.
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Inca
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Who's this deplorable bastard?

Lardinho--count yourself lucky that you don't know Rachael Ray. She's taking over the world. Started off on Food Network, then started a magazine, and now has a TV talk show. Her gimmick is "30 minute meals"--again, nothing that says that cooking or anything to do with food should be enjoyable, but it can be quick and you can get it over with. So quick, that she doesn't say "extra virgin olive oil"--it's "E.V.O.O.". She's popularized that, along with another catch phrase, "yummo."

[ 14.02.2007, 16:21: Message edited by: Inca ]

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Wyatt Earp
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I'd never heard of Sandra Lee, but this is an ingredients list from her website, seemingly for a sort of spag bol affair:

quote:
INGREDIENTS:
4 tablespoons olive oil, Bertolli®
4 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons minced fresh garlic
1 package (8-ounce) sliced fresh mushrooms
1 jar (6.5-ounce) peeled garlic cloves, Christopher Ranch®
1 1/2 pounds lean ground beef
1 jar (26-ounce) mushroom marinara sauce, Newman’s Own®
2/3 cup red wine (Merlot or Cabernet)
2 tablespoons Italian seasoning, McCormick®
1 box (16-ounce) spaghetti
Salt

Fucking hell.
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Wyatt Earp
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Tell you what, I bet that dish would be ruined if you used a Shiraz.
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Inca
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Sandra Lee's show is called "Semi-Homemade". That tells you everything.
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Lardinho
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Ah. McCormick's Italian seasoning, Newman's Own marinara sauce and Christopher Ranch peeled garlic cloves. The kind of things you'd find in any Italian kitchen through the ages.
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Wyatt Earp
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Cooking time 25 minutes. Did I mention that? The meat must have the texture of old boots.
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Lardinho
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I love this:

1 package (8-ounce) sliced fresh mushrooms

Yes. Of course. You will buy your sliced fresh mushrooms in a package.

Why not

8 oz sliced fresh mushrooms?

Why mention the package? Will it taste worse if you buy them loose?

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Wyatt Earp
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Fuck, she's worse than Michael Barry. Google her name and weep.
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Lardinho
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Google it? I got:

"Sandra Lee - Sex Toys, Lingerie, Bondage, Fetish, Adult Dvd, Video ..."

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