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» One Touch Football - Archive » World » God Bless You, Ma'am! (Page 1)

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Author Topic: God Bless You, Ma'am!
Rogin the Armchair fan
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Barring a corgi-related calamity, Liz will be our oldest-ever monarch later today

quote:
During her reign, the Queen's achievements have already included being the first British monarch to send an e-mail
Fancy that!
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Gangster Octopus
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The rest were just techno-phobes...
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Rogin the Armchair fan
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Especially Ethelred the Unconnected.
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Andy C
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But not yet our longest-lived head of state.
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Phoebe Disco
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The Queen will celebrate 60 years on the throne in 2012

One hell of a curry, that.

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Antonio Gramsci
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quote:
But the day will be business as usual for the Queen, as there will be no special event to mark the occasion.
I found this disheartening. I rather preferred the image of her doing a victory dance in front of Victoria's portrait, yelling "in your face", spiking a Corgi in triumph and then having Helen Mirren executed for lese-majeste.

[ 20.12.2007, 12:12: Message edited by: Antonio Gramsci ]

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ian .64
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During her reign, the Queen's achievements have already included being the first British monarch to send an e-mail, to have a message put on the moon and to hold a public concert in her back garden.

If she were the first monarch to light her own farts then a milestone would have truly been reached.

quote:
With a steady stride, Her Majesty, composed and ready for the task at hand, approached the raised platform, a tastefully designed stage of the best Canadian Oak. There, she recited the verse of preparation, swearing loyalty and duty to her country in the accomplishment of this mighty charge.

With her royal nutritionists, Her Majesty had mapped out her dietary requirements in order to fulfil her objective. The week had been a busy one, with a cuisine composed of horse radishes, curried eggs and sprouts, but, on this morning, sixteen eggs, ten bacon sandwiches and a lentil soup course would suffice.

She had not attended her toilet, for fear that the wind desired for this momentous event be wasted and neutralised.

The verse completed, Her Majesty bent over and raised her robe of state and the skirts underneath, the cheeks of the royal bottom - a bottom that had ruled and observed the years of change within this country - exposed, rounded with character and with only the merest wrinkle or fold.

The royal lighter, a present from a German Head of State in 1938 to her mother, was lit and ready to be applied to the monarchical rump - three inches from the royal anus. Precision was paramount.

Her Majesty strained, the wrinkle of effort upon the visage of this magnificent woman. A moment passed and then so did the wind, committing a plume of fierce, yet delicate flame to the air, set by the silver lighter. Small it may have been, but its fire was as bright as her reign upon these lands. A new achievement to be placed within many that our righteous monarch has so generously afforded her people over the years.

And so it was done, to the pleasure of the assembled statesmen and loved ones around her. Congratulations, Your Majesty. God Save The Queen!


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Just Say No To Vorderman
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The Russians had the right idea about royal families..we should have lined the lot of them up years ago and shot them
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Spock na Escada
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She's still got another 8 years to go before she passes Victoria's record for incumbency. I'd imagine she's saving the amusement until then.
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hobbes
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quote:
The Russians had the right idea about royal families..we should have lined the lot of them up years ago and shot them
Yeah, cause that worked out just great for them, didn't it?
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Hieronymus Bosch
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One hell of a curry, that.

Ha ha ha

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Eggchaser
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I like the Queen and have no problems with her position. And when she was young, she was quite attractive.

There, I've said it.

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Gonzo
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Queen, the group at No.1 for 60 years, would be more preferable?
& more relevant?

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Stumpy Pepys
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Whatever you think about the royal family, you've got to admire the Queen for her old-school graft and sense of duty.
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Gonzo
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Yeah, but there's plenty of that generation who'd have done it for the free food & booze/travel not to mention the vast quantities of, er, free money.....
Posts: 2962 | From: The Pale, Erin | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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