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Author Topic: Why do so many women like it rough?
Caliban3
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quote:
It's that you talk of them reductively, en masse and as a mysterious Other.
This is exactly it. I read your posts about women and I don't recognise myself (or anyone I know) in your descriptions, any more than I can make sense of those ponderings or sweeping statements about women you see lads mags. It's like you see them as this whole different species who speak a different language and are motivated by something you don't understand.

Whenever I've seen men doing this before (and they always seem to be the ones most influenced by Lad culture), I've noticed that they don't ever reach their goal of "understanding women" until they stop assuming that there is anything that requires decoding and just start relating to them as human beings.

Posts: 2813 | From: The Tempest | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lyra
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Sorry I misread you a bit there PPV. I was wondering about the whole repression thing, and the association people seem to make with repressed-ness and kind of more 'extreme' fantasies. because I don't really think that's what you were talking about; it seems you were more talking about people who felt the need to share such a fantasy with someone they don't really know. But then again, there is that thing of being able to tell strangers things/do things with strangers that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing with people that 'know' you.

As for hair pulling, I don't know. I guess it's that thin line thing. Having your hair pulled too hard or sharply is painful. Having someone grip your hair firmly but gently etc can probably make you feel more desired, that they want to look into your eyes or can't help themselves wanting to hold your head or whatever, etc. some people might enjoy the actual pain, some might enjoy the emotional association, and everyone's going to draw the lines in slightly different places.

oh what the fuck do I know? I wish I knew, I guess that's why I'm trying to engage with this, but I have no clue, really.

[ 01.01.2008, 23:00: Message edited by: lyra ]

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Not me
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This is sex we're talking about - no one knows anything. Any generalisation will disintegrate given a few seconds' thought.
Posts: 4303 | From: The Ministry of the New New Super Heavy Funk | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Malcolm X
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With your Lyra, we could work together to find the true answer to this confusing question.

We could experiment with me pulling your hair with various degrees of firmness wilst you provide feedback to a camcorder or my mobile (it can record 3 minutes video which is all i need).

We will then upload the results to youtube\wikipedia for peer review

All in the interests of science of course.

[ 02.01.2008, 00:35: Message edited by: Malcolm X ]

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Not me
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She's not my Lyra, alright. She's her own person with her own, probably disgusting, ideas.
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Malcolm X
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Chill, I am only trying to forward the boundaries of science. Did Newton or Gallileo encounter such hostility?
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lyra
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I am actually a total prude. Mary Whitehouse would describe me as uptight.
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Not me
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Newton died a virgin, you know.
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lyra
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I thort Newton liked boys. Was he autistic as well? Or did I make that up?
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Soccer Scrimmage
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When I was doing a course on classics of Western social and political thought, it seemed like half the guys we studied died virgins: Kant, Locke, Weber. Nietzsche had sex once apparently, and that was with a prostitute from whom he contracted the syphilis that eventually killed him.
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Tee-Rex
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Life's what you make it. Worse things happen at sea. Tomorrow is another day. Every cloud has a silver lining.

OK, I admit it, I'm a stud.

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Amor de Cosmos
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Nietzsche had sex once apparently

Well I suppose it depends on your definition of sex but he seems to have had something intimate going on with Lou Salomé.

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Nocturnal Submission
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quote:
Nietzsche had sex once apparently, and that was with a prostitute from whom he contracted the syphilis that eventually killed him.
It's like raaaaaaaaa-e-aaaaaaaaaain, on your wedding day...
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Wyatt Earp
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quote:
Any generalisation will disintegrate given a few seconds' thought.
That's such an open goal for a smartarse. Not to mention, you know, wrong...
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Not me
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It's meant to be. I've just walked into an internet cafe in part to ask you to write something convincing about sex, Wyatt. I've genuinely never read any "men think/do this, women think/do that" generalisations that tally with my experience, let alone any convincing explanations for those assertions.

So give it to me, big man. Generalise hard about sexual behaviour, and back it up with what you've got. Upthread, you've suggested that some scientific or cultural ideas could help us grapple with the titular question, and similar questions, but I'm not getting much sense of what they might actually be. I'd like you to start from the bottom up and do a thorough job.

PPV seems to be describing some kind of grey area between "vigorous" and "rough" that perhaps makes him uncomfortable enough to start a thread - maybe his point is that it could be unpleasant and weird to be cast in a vaguely abusive role when you'd hate to actually abuse anyone in any way. Who knows? But I can't see how there can be any worthwhile clarification of what he’s written, it's so vague (and of course couched in terms of, "Women, eh? Waddayagonnado?! I love those crazy little guys!!!").

So use a different example if "Why do so many women like it rough?" is too silly. How do you put assertions about people’s experience of and thoughts about sex to the test? There doesn't seem to be anything very measurable (arf) here, cause no one can ever know what anyone else is really thinking, and most thoughts about sex are inchoate, fleeting and specific to the context they arise in.

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