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» One Touch Football - Archive » World » Florida. Random observations. (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Florida. Random observations.
WornOldMotorbike
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So we've just gotten back.
First, I still love the state, although I feel somewhat dirty saying that. But it has its flaws. No...no...it does.
Starting with its real estate market: you've heard a bit about this sub-prime mortgage thing, right? Apparently Florida is one of the top 4 worst-off states. On some streets, including the mixed retiree/worker neighbourhood my in-laws are renting in, roughly 1 in 5 houses is for sale or rent. One (massive) place had a big plywood sign out front spraypainted "$750 K. Will take $349K". On some streets, as many as half of the houses were for sale, by owner. Or "Will trade". Or "Best offer on Saturday takes it". Very, very sad.

Then, on Monday last, I took my kids (5 and 2) to a playground just barely on the grounds of a public school. After about 15 minutes, I see a guy in a tie walking toward us from the school (about 250 yards away). I mean....he literally hiked cross-country to get to us. He kindly advised me that we were trespassing and that we'd have to leave. Apparently, as much as he hated to do so, he had to treat us as a security risk under the State's something & something Act. So, yes, you can indeed buy a gallon of bourbon and a shotgun in the same plaza at any time of the day, but you and your children on the jungle gym are making people nervous.

Cars. Big. Really, really big. I ordered a "Small Family" car and got a full size Chev Malibu that I couldn't see the front or back end of. Nice ride, mind.

Ice tea. Arizona Ice Tea, to be exact. Incredible, and comes in a one gallon jug for $2.50. I drank two jugs. And a family size bag of Combos cheese-filled pretzels. I'd like to say I did this over the course of 9 days. But I can't.

Old people. Wall to wall. Everywhere. In the malls, on the roads, on the beaches. And on the beaches, they're all hunched over looking for fossilized sharks' teeth. I asked one old codger why. "I dunno....you come down here every day. You either read...or you look for sharks' teeth." I found over 80.

That's about it for now. I didn't get to a Bob Evans, but I got to a few Target stores. You win some...

Posts: 3858 | From: the head office of One Man's Opinion Corp. | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Rogin the Armchair fan
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Bourbon, shotguns, and shark's teeth?

I've been going to Southport for these for ages, and you tell me they're just lying around in Florida?

Posts: 15858 | From: this corner of the bar you can only see half of the big screen | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gerontophile
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I have GOT to go to Florida.
Posts: 2278 | From: the nightflight to Venus | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
die grosse linke Hand
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quote:
Cars. Big. Really, really big. I ordered a "Small Family" car and got a full size Chev Malibu that I couldn't see the front or back end of. Nice ride, mind.
Christ. A Chevy Malibu. I am truly sorry for you having to experience GM's latest adventure in how to make a seriously sucky car.
Posts: 3418 | From: Gotham | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Inca
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Every time I've seen someone driving a new Malibu, it was a rental car. It's what we were given in Hawaii.
Posts: 16877 | From: Gobias Industries | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
die grosse linke Hand
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North American Car of the year - 2008, if you needed any more assurance of how bad it is.

As previously won by the Saturn Aura, and - everyones favourite - the Chrysler PT Cruiser!

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ursus arctos
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Which allows me to provide another of my episodic, "not all Italians have impeccable taste" anecdotes:

The PT Cruiser is the most popular North American automobile in Italy.

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Reed
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PT Cruisers are popular among my parents' friends.
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Vernons Pools
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Sorry - but Florida is a shit hole with sunshine.
I should point out I live in Boston.

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Reed
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I agree with Vernon, although one of my best friends is from Florida.
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TonTon
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how bad can a car be? does it not go?
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ursus arctos
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That was the Nova; this is the Malibu.
Posts: 18670 | From: mediolanum | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
evilC
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Did you see any of those falling-to-pieces cars on the interstates? I understand that there's almost no such thing as MOTs in Florida.

Also, did you get to 'do a Horatio' after all? :-)

Posts: 7428 | From: such drivers' ed films as 'Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass' | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hissing fauna
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man, i love Combos - the pizza flavour ones are immense
Posts: 206 | From: brighton is not 'london by the sea' | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Reed
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I now watch the intro to CSI: Miami on reruns just to see that. I find the rest of the show is always a disappointment by comparison.
Posts: 15414 | From: left to right on your radio dial... | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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