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JtS
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Steve...

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Posts: 7076 | From: The North London | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Crusoe
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4 Jobs I've Had

1. System tester. Summer jobs from 1993 to about 1997 (while I was at sixth form college and university). The Post Office was recruiting temps to run test scripts on new hardware and software and offered the jobs through parents who worked there already. I really liked the people, the job was a lot more satisfying that the ones my mates were holding down (delivering Yellow Pages, working at Halford's), and most people there seemed to be having affairs with each other.

2. Telephone surveys and data entry for the Australian government. We had to telephone small businesses across the country to get estimates of their value. I didn't get too much abuse (though a lot more than the other non-English temps), but it was still a horrible job - on my first day I called a company where the tearful wife of the proprietor explained he'd died that weekend.

3. Various data entry jobs. They all blur into one. I've entered cinema advert bookings for Pearl & Dean, foreign exchange deal tickets for the investment banking arm of the Royal Bank of Canada, maintenance requests for the University of Technology, Sydney, typed up architectural design proposals for a construction company, hand-written ball invitations for a parks authority and scanned in paper cheques for an oil company (you would not believe the monthly rental charge for a supertanker). I really have no tangible skills, do I?

4. IT auditor. My current job. I write reports on the state of technology systems at my current employer (offering recommendations on how to improve security, disaster recovery, that kind of thing). It's not particularly hands-on or technical (more about problem-solving and finding practical solutions to risks) and fairly soul-destroying.

4 TV Shows I Never Miss

1. Reaper (the Kevin Smith-linked show about the slacker kid discovering his parents sold his soul to the devil and that he has to act as a bounty hunter for the devil as a result).

2. America's Next Top Model. Not because I want to watch it, but because my other half watches it religiously and I'm usually in the room at the time.

3. Family Guy (on DVD).

4. Black Books (on DVD). Best watched when drunk.

4 Places I've Been

Four places where I would rather be.

1. Sydney.

2. Edinburgh.

3. Kalkan, Turkey.

4. Prague.

4 Artists I'm Listening To

1. Caribou (formerly Manitoba).

2. The Brunettes.

3. Midnight Juggernauts.

4. Beirut.

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JtS
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4 Jobs

1. Shop assistant in a stationary shop. £19 for a day's work, paid for a portable TV when I was 15/16 that I only got rid of last year.

2. Sainso's "Produce" aka Fruit & Veg assistant. Two shitty shifts (Fri 5.30pm-9.45pm; Sat 11.45am-8.45pm) but my pay went upto £40+. Paid for my driving lessons. Had a laugh.

3. Accountant: could do most of it with one arm tied behind my back. £perBrainEffort is ridiculously high.

4. Football coach: Fantastic fun, paid shit, but learnt alot about the world.

4 TV Shows

1. Battlestar Galactica. Love it.

2. Two and a half men. SOmething my missus and I watch together. Makes me LOL.

3. Ramsay's kitchen nightmare. The US version is a bit shit but it's very funny.

4. Footy hi-lights.

4 Places

1. Maui. Just fantastic. Cycling down Mt Halekalaa (sp?) from 10,000 to sea level was brilliant.

2. Le Tour, nr Chamonix. The best powdery snow I've ever enjoyed. Nice wide slopes so going off piste is easy.

3. Japan (Tokyo; Mt Fuji; Kyoto; Nagoya; Inuyama) unforgettable. Like being on another planet. Like being in the future, and in the past.

4. London.

4 (well, 2) Music artists

1. The Black Crowes - Off to see them in a few weeks, the new album is pretty good.

2. Estelle (feat Kanye West) - American Boy is aces!

Posts: 7076 | From: The North London | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Andy C
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4 Jobs I've Had

1. Laboratory assistant, ICI, Runcorn: I my job was to conduct a toxicological survey of the air in a chemical works. I'd cycle round the factory collecting syringefuls of air, and then feed them into a gas chromatograph to see whether I was entitled to cough.

2. Traffic survey wallah, for one day. I sat on a traffic island in Widnes, pencilling each car that passed onto a sheet of paper, marked out in a half-hourly grid.. When I finished I handed my paper in to the supervisor who was surprised to see me quarter of an hour before I should have finished. My watch was so inaccurate that all the information I'd collected was completely invalid - there were several of us doing the same work, dotted around the same set of road junctions, and if you pooled our data it appeared that cars disappeared into the system and never emerged, or at other times that cars were spontaneously created somewhere in the 200-yard stretch of road we were monitoring. This didn't stop them completely canging the road layout, though.

3 and 4 Technical Author and Trainer. I'm covering two rôles in my current work: writing product documentation (installation guides, online help, that sort of thing) and training users of my company's product (which, if I told you what it was would cause you all to abandon any last shred of goodwill towards me, I'm sure). In theory, the two jobs should complement each other because they both have extremes of activity and inactivity. I can only write product documentation when there's something new to write about - that is, a new product release - and can only train customers when they want training. Unfortunately, the two peaks invariably coincide. The training gets me the occasional nice trip abroad, though.

4 TV Shows I Never Miss

1. University Challenge

2. Match of the Day if Everton have won

3. The News, because Mrs C's a bit of a news junkie

4. Oddly, films I already own on DVD

4 Places I've Been

1. Cuba

2. Sri Lanka

3. Israel

4. Stornoway

4 Artists I'm Listening To

1. Carlos Di Sarli

2. Compay Segundo

3. Rameau

4. John Adams

[ 25.03.2008, 17:49: Message edited by: Andy C ]

Posts: 8328 | From: Hampstead Norreys no more | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gerontophile
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Andy C: Totally agree with the "films I already own on DVD" thing... its like supporting a team or something (OK, its not, but there is a very tenuous link in there somewhere)
Posts: 2278 | From: the nightflight to Venus | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Matej
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4 Jobs I've Had

1. Auto repair mechanic's assistant

In my very first ever job I was a "work-hire" at the auto-shop on the Air Force Base. ("Work-hire" was a fancy way of saying "teenage kid who needs to make some money in the summer and gets paid minimum wage".) In the short time I was there I helped fix the big Mercedes buses I rode to school, the SP patrol cars (one of the first cars I drove), and Humvees. In terms of how often the broke-down and could not be repaired, the Humvees were quite possibly the shittest automobile in the shop. I did the grunt work that the PFCs didn't want to do, so I was usually exhausted and covered in grease by the end of the day. I got a free pair of steel-toed boots though, which I never wore again.

2. Roller skating rink attendant/bumper car attendent/arcade attendant/kitchen staff

All at the same place. Working the roller rink was fine. The bumper cars sucked. The arcade ruled (unlimited gaming). The kitchen was a disaster.

3. personal assistant (temp) at an estate law firm

My boss was quite possibly the most neurotic person I have ever known. Divorced, manic, childish, impossible to please, but for some reason he loved me because I really didn't give a shit about the job. It made him become more independent (he said).

4. Admin Assistant

This was the lowest of the low level office work. Fold and stuff envelopes. Scan and review documents. My first full time job.

4 TV Shows (that I usually miss, but will watch as soon as I can, and that have not yet been cancelled)

Life
Lost
Friday Night Lights
Dexter

4 Completely Random Places I've Been

Ivanovo - Russia
Mittersill - Austria
Berkeley Springs, West Virginia
The Dalles, Oregon

4 Artists I was listening to (before the recent influx of African music)

Ok Go
Gorillaz
Franz Ferdinand
Oasis

Posts: 6506 | From: I hear New Zealand is nice | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Purple Cow
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4 Jobs I've Had

1. Maintenance engineer in top-secret(ish) post nuclear war communications facility. Misreable place - 200' underground. Mock 'windows' painted with ridiculous South Sea Island views, just before I quit the staff voted to replace them with Norwegian Fjord scenes. Water from the toilets was filtered and re-cycled to the water tanks, made drinking tea erm, interesting. (Before you ask solid waste was compressed into packets and shot to the surface by compressed air). Sexually assaulted by my boss, the day before I quit.

2. Radiographer in UK and Dutch Health Services. 20 years of abuse from nurses, snotty med students and petulant surgeons. Then there were patients who called the police and accused me of stealing their jewelry, when in fact their mother had taken it home for safe keeping. Then there were the drunks who screamed abuse at me before vomiting all over my new shoes at 3.a.m. Loved it for the first ten years, grew to despise it the second ten.

3 Bloke who writes the latest odds on the white board in a betting shop. Most tedious job I ever had, quit after three days, didn't even go back for my wages.

4. Account planner (soon to be re-named 'communications strategist') in a communications agency (previously an 'ad agency'). Best job I ever had. Interesting work, desk research/strategic thinking/ interpreting research data/ writing briefs. No two days are the same. As William Gibson pointed out, it all comes down to pattern recognition in the end.

4 TV Shows I Never Miss

1. University Challenge

2. Belgian TV's Tour de France coverage. Those Flemish commentator guys have forgotten more about cycling than I will ever know.

3. West Wing.

4. Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. No idea why, it's the same show every week.

4 Places I've Been

1. Shinjuku

2. Red Wing, Minnesota

3. Seoul

4. Hong Kong


4 Artists I'm Listening To

1. Lots of old Reggae (Congos/Culture/Max Romeo)

2. Lots of old soul (William Bell/Wilson Pickett)

You see a pattern emerging?

3. Steely Dan

4. Wilco

[ 25.03.2008, 14:30: Message edited by: The Purple Cow ]

Posts: 5801 | From: Amsterdam | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lardinho
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4 jobs I've had

1 - Till monkey at Littlewoods. Possibly the most soul destroying thing I've ever done, and in a brown polyester uniform, too.

2 - Modelling nuclear garbage leakage for the Atomic Energy Authority as they subcontracted to NIREX to try and determine the least bad site for a nuclear waste storage site. The interesting thing you learned was that all their variables suggested that the best thing to do is to throw it in the deep ocean.

3 - Freelancing making computer animations and maps and things from satellite imagery

4 - Director of the company doing the same stuff, making satellite atlases and fly-over animations for planetaria and TV documentaries and CD-ROMs and all kinds of other things

4 TV shows I rarely miss

all shame here

1 - American Idol. It's cheesy, fun, and far better than the British version
2 - Lost
3 - Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares
4 - Jericho

4 gobsmacking places I've been

1 - Sossusvlei, Namibia. Giant, astonishing, red sand dunes.
2 - Kaiteur Falls, Guyana. Tallest single-drop falls in the world, in the middle of the rainforest, miles from civilisation
3 - Bryce Canyon, Utah
4 - Cappadocia, Turkey. Fairy chimneys everywhere

4 artists I'm listening to

1 - Cardigans
2 - Sparklehorse
3 - Red Snapper
4 - Tom Waits

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Crusoe
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Red Snapper, excellent choice.
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Diggedy Derek
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They've reformed now, although I can report that I saw them the other week, and it was excruciatingly boring.
Posts: 8033 | From: Kazakhstan Laboratories | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Crusoe
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Really? That's a shame. Not entirely a surprise, mind, they were on the decline before they split, the last couple of albums weren't a patch on the first two or three.
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Diggedy Derek
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It was just really, really linear, acoustic basslines with a bit of sax and guitar on top.
Posts: 8033 | From: Kazakhstan Laboratories | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lyra
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Red Snapper means Vegas to me as basically was listening to them constantly while there. Nostalgia.
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Inca
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I realized that my list would be really boring. I haven't been to many interesting places at all.
Posts: 16877 | From: Gobias Industries | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Big Dave's Gusset
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4 Jobs I've had:

1. Warehouse label scraper dude - My job was to apply white spirit to the metal framework in Woolworths warehouse and remove old labels with a scraper. I was paired up with a nutter I recognised from football - the most recent time I'd seen him he was climbing over a fence to attack some Leicester City fans. During the two weeks I worked there, I saw him:
- Unpack a flask, urinate into it, and re-package it.
- Urinate into a rubber glove and leave it above a door.
- Get out all the Lego and build an enormous fort.
- Leave a trail of white spirit across the floor, which later send a fork-lift truck skidding into a wall.
- Cocoon someone in shrink wrap and push them into an enormous box crusher (our supervisor assisted in this).
- Splash white spirit into his own face to see if it would hurt. It did.
I thought all work was going to be like this. I was asked not to come back at the end of the second week because I had neglected to pick up some litter. For all I know, my colleague still works there.

2. Removal Man - I lasted a day and a half. Those of you who have met me will know how innacurate my OTF moniker is. If you can, try to imagine how small and weedy I was at the age of 19. Those of you who haven't met me might like to think of how a newly-hatched lizard may look. Now try to picture the newly-hatched lizard trying to lift a wardrobe into a van whilst a trio of hard local blokes mutter under their breath. The best thing about this job was that the van driver gave me some whisky from a bottle in his glove compartment "to put some colour back in my cheeks".

3. Bed Delivery Man - Similar deal to the Removal Man gig, but this time it was just me and a skinhead in a van delivering beds to Cardiff. I told the skinhead that I knew Cardiff quite well. The skinhead told me "I don't need to know that. I just need to know you can read a fucking map", which pretty much set the tone for the day. Later on he deliberately smashed an ornament in an Asian woman's bungalow, and called me "a cunt" when I handed him the wrong Divan (for I was now 20 and strong enough to lift light furniture unassisted). This job lasted one day.

4. Ticket Office Assistant at West Ham United - I stayed in this job for two years, primarily because I was trying to get off with a girl who worked in the office. This was foolish because a) she didn't fancy me, and b) she was engaged. What an absolute waste of two years. Silly boy.

4 TV shows I never miss

At the moment it's:

1. Gavin and Stacey
2. Mad Men
3. Dexter
4. Skins (he he, 4.Skins)

4 Places I've Been

School trips

1. Victorian England - As part of a history project at primary school, we all had to dress up as Victorian urchins, get on a bus, and go to some field where a load of kids from other schools were similarly attired. On the way, we passed another school coach that had crashed. No-one was hurt, but a there were a lot of very distressed Victorian kids blinking on the grass bank. I remember the sight of one Victorian girl puking through her nose causing quite a stir on our bus. Later, an actress pretending to be Queen Victoria turned up (even at the age of 10 I was aware that it wasn't the real Queen Victoria - thus displaying the keen eye for detail that served me so well in the Woolworths warehouse gig). The actress Queen Victoria told me she liked my shoes. Queen Victoria was clearly mental, as my shoes were simply an old pair of daps that my mum had tied brown corduroy around.

2. The Isle of Wight - I got tonsilitis and puked on the headmistress. I also got in trouble for climbing onto the roof of the hotel. Anarchy. I also saw a sign in a shop window that said "Eat Shit: Millions of flies can't be wrong!", which, at the age of 11 was just about the funniest thing I'd ever seen. Heh, eat shit. Mental.

3. The Pitt Rivers Museum, Oxford - We had to draw African masks and stuff. I proudly wore my Swindon shirt. Under my jumper and coat. 1-0 to the Swindon Town.

4. Some farm in Wiltshire - It rained and stank of shit. They told us they had strawberrys in the summer, but it was November, so they were going to show us some pictures of strawberrys but it was to rainy and the pictures of strawberrys might have got wet. We went back to school in the afternoon in damp and muddy clothes and had to write about it. I imagine my report was exactly the same as this. Man, I could have seen a picture of some strawberrys.

4 artists I'm listening to

1. Nick Cave
2. Queens of the Stone Age
3. Edwyn Collins
4. Grinderman

Posts: 2991 | From: Duck Island | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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