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» One Touch Football - Archive » Film » Stupid things in sci-fi films (Page 3)

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Author Topic: Stupid things in sci-fi films
Crusoe
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Ha. As Family Guy put it:

quote:
Captain Kirk: All right, men. This is a dangerous mission. And it's likely one of us will be killed. The landing party will consist of myself, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Ensign Ricky.

Ensign Ricky: Ah, crap.


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Gangster Octopus
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Eddie Izzard's version.
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Antonio Gramsci
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Or Sam Rockwell in Galaxy Quest.

"I'm not going to survive, I'm going to die! People like me always die in these situations"

"No you won't, you'll be fine."

"Then why don't I have a second name?"

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The 7th Baron Bartok
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On similar lines, what was that spoof-type movie (one of the Austin Powers ones perhaps) which makes a point of briefly showing the bereaved family of one of the baddy's unnamed henchmen?
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Don Malhumorado
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It was Austin Powers. The first one.
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Ginger Yellow
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Worst. Star Wars physics. Ever:

In the most recent film, these little attack droids latch on to Ewan McGregor's fighter (in space). Ewan tells the R2 unit to electrify them. He does so. The droids are then blown off the fighter's wings by the non-existent air resistance in the vacuum of space. Episode III is the most so-bad-it's-good film since Plan 9 From Outer Space.

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macocha europy
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They never had safety belts on the Star Trek bridge, did they.

[ 22.12.2007, 15:25: Message edited by: macocha europy ]

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Rogin the Armchair fan
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Moonraker 's about to start on ITV. There's a prize, apparently yet unclaimed, for spotting the one aspect of this movie that doesn't break at least one immutable law of physics. Stephen Hawking's been working on it for nearly twenty-five years.

[ 26.12.2007, 15:46: Message edited by: Rogin the Armchair fan ]

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Eggchaser
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quote:
but you never saw them in the morning, when they came in to the starship Enterprise, going, Oh, get the engine on, Chekov! Its fucking freezing in here! Boy!
Damn right.

How come in Aliens they have ships capable of flying across the galaxy and delivering a payload of Marines right into the belly of the beast (in what looks suspiciously like an Apache on steroids minus its rotors), yet they're still firing bullets?

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Antonio Gramsci
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What's wrong with projectiles? What else are they supposed to use?

A better question is about the Aliens themselves. How do they grow so fast? In the first movie, the one of them moves from gut-bursting worm-tyke to eight-foot monster in about 24 hours with only one or two humans as sustenance. That must break a number of laws related to thermodynamics and metabolics.

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macocha europy
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Why on earth a second Alien v Predator film?
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hobbes
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quote:
Alien life forms of all shapes and sizes on other planets featured in Star Trek , who not only apparently understand English but have the remarkably human-like articulatory apparatus required to speak it.
They have a universal translator. Just like the transporter has a "Heisenberg Compensator."
I think it's quite twee how they think of the problems them make something up to compensate.

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Antonio Gramsci
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How the hell do you compensate for Heisenberg? Donate to anti-fascist organizations?
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evilC
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quote:
A better question is about the Aliens themselves. How do they grow so fast? In the first movie, the one of them moves from gut-bursting worm-tyke to eight-foot monster in about 24 hours with only one or two humans as sustenance. That must break a number of laws related to thermodynamics and metabolics.
The same thought had occured to me, AG. I can only assume that since they have a fundamentally different body chemistry to any other life form, they have some way of transforming matter into energy and vice versa alarmingly efficiently. Their body chemistry was given *very* basic attention in both the first film and the first (I believe) issue of the original Aliens vs Predators comic-book series. (Mercifully, these were nothing like the film that later used that name!) It seemed that their chitinous skin is actually some sort of silicon/carbon compound, similar to Buckminsterfullerene but somehow organic. This is how they managed to have "molecular acid" for blood and such tough skin. (Strangely, it's almost the only part of 'Aliens 3' that makes sense - where the alien can withstand enormous heat, but the contraction of its own skin is what kills it.)

Some things related, but different: A feature we never openly see in the films, but which is shown in Giger's original artwork book for the films, is that the Alien possesses the ability to transform from its humanoid shape to a snake-like one. This is how it manages to get into the escape pod with Ripley in the first film, but takes some time to extricate itself from the tubes and wires there. Secondly, we see the alien exploding from the chest of the dog in Alien 3 and then actually growing before our eyes. As you say, AG, this is actually physically impossible for a creature with regular body chemistry. The energy burnt and thus the heat given off would actually kill it. Also worth noting is that the alien takes on certain anatomical characteristics of whichever creature it gestates in: it is humanoid when it comes out of a human; it's quadripedal when it comes out of a dog and it has (at least) the jaw mechanism of a Predator when it bursts out of one of them.

I mourn the way that the Alien series of films went. I understand it turned shit after 'Aliens' because there was some kind of power-struggle in the production team leading up to 'Alien 3' and Sigourney Weaver was basically allowed to get away with believing that she was bigger than the francise and start running the show. If that is true, it's utterly unfathomable - I would have told her to go fuck herself with a splintery broom-handle! Either way, half the production team walked out and we are left with a travesty. The storylines explored in the original series of 'Aliens' comics were vastly superior in every way to the third and fourth films and - of course - the 'vs Predator' spin-off. There were such unexplored concepts as the alien having primitive psychic powers (Ripley's birth nightmare in 'Aliens' was an example of this), the aliens making their way back to Earth and even the 'Space-Jockeys' (the huge creatures piloting the other spaceship that is discovered on the planet in 'Alien') coming back and kicking *everybody's* arses!

All in all, the 'Aliens' franchise was a potentially great sci-fi series of films that was sacrificed on the altar of Hollywood narcissism. A terrible shame.

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Diggedy Derek
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Ha, this thread is great. Particular applause for PPV.
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